I've got a good idea for the dinner at my parents' house tonight.
- What's that? - Let's not go.
- We have to go. - Why?
Just because your parents are meeting my parents for the first time?
We already know everyone.
Let's stay home. I can't take the tension.
It's just a dinner. We'll eat a little, talk a little.
Everyone will go home with stains on their shirts. It's no big deal.
It is, and you know it.
This is the dinner. It'll set the tone for the relationship
between our families for the rest of our lives.
I'm sure every couple goes through this.
We're different. We've got a lot going against us.
First of all, we're already married.
Let's tell them and get it over with before Ruthie tells them.
- Then we can relax. - That won't make me relax.
It'll make me relax, and then we can act like what we are: married.
- I'll be a lot more relaxed. - No. And here's why:
We've got bigger problems
than lying about being married and sharing that lie with Ruthie.
Your father's a minister, and mine's a rabbi.
- Both men of the cloth. - Way different fabrics.
And this is a Friday-night Sabbath dinner,
which somehow makes everything more...
[DOOR OPENS]
I don't know, just more.
The one thing I had to get was chicken fat.
The one thing I asked you to remind me to get was chicken fat.
And what happens? I forget the chicken fat.
How am I supposed to make kugel without chicken fat?
Someone tell me that, please.
[SPEAKS IN HEBREW]
[BARKS]
[UTENSILS CLANGING]
Oh, good. Ruthie, come here. I need you to taste something.
What is it?
Kasha varnishkes.
- Maybe some other time. - Come on, Ruthie. I need you to try it.
Isn't there a rule if you can't say it, you don't have to eat it?
It's just roasted buckwheat and noodles.
It doesn't sound much better in English.
What? Too salty?
Too oniony? What?
I don't know.
- What's it supposed to taste like? - I'm not sure.
Why are you cooking all this food? Isn't Sarah's mother cooking anything?
Of course she is. I just thought it'd be a nice gesture
to cook something for tonight's Shabbat dinner.
- What's Shabbat? - "Shabbat" is Hebrew for the Sabbath.
And since I've never cooked this kind of food before,
I thought I'd experiment with a few different things.
I'll probably only bring one or two dishes.
Or maybe not.
Mom, that thing, the K thing, it was not bad, really.
- Really? - Yeah, I think.
Good. Well, then that'll be one dish.
Okay, now, do me a favour. I need you to try kugel.
I have to go. I forgot to do something.
- What? - I can't remember right now.
Another inevitable sign of the ageing process.
But sometimes if I start walking, whatever it is just pulls me to it.
[DOOR OPENS, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]
I wouldn't go in there if I were you. It's not the kitchen you once knew.
- What are you talking about? - Mom.
She's really going overboard for this dinner tonight
at Sarah's parents' house.
You're lucky. You get to stay home and babysit the twins.
- You'll have a good time. - Really? Why?
Are you kidding? Getting to see two families meeting for the first time?
You'll get to observe the relationships, the interaction, body language.
You'll be like a reporter with a front seat to history.
I'd rather have a seat in front of the TV.
Plus, it's a Shabbat dinner. That means Sabbath.
- So it'll probably be extra serious. - That's even better.
Getting to experience an authentic Jewish dinner?
Observing another culture firsthand?
Look at it like you're a young Margaret Mead.
Like I don't already know more about human nature than Margaret Mead?
[CHUCKLES]
[POTS BANGING]
[SNIFFS]
STUDENT: Come on.
MORRIS: I'm half Jewish.
So I should invite you to meet my brother's fiancée's family?
You should invite me because my folks are out of town,
the fridge is totally empty, and it's Friday night.
And Meagan broke our date
because no one likes me since I took you to that party.
And I'm in the mood for some good Jewish cooking.
Actually, any cooking.
You're really half Jewish?
Yeah, my mother's Jewish, and my father's Protestant.
- Does Sarah have sisters? - No.
So I'll go anyway. You owe me.
[CHUCKLES]
- Hey. So how's it going? - How's it going?
Ha! I got over-salted kugel. Tastes like the Red Sea when you bite into it.
I got watery noodle pudding.
My kasha varnishkes are sticking to the bottom of the pot.
And Mrs. Kaplan's honey cake in the oven looks like someone sat on it.
Maybe Mrs. Kaplan. Why are you going overboard?
They invited us. The rabbi and Mrs. Glass.
And we're going. What's the problem?
But we didn't invite them. I was going to, but they invited us first.
Somebody has to invite somebody first.
Yeah, but I wanted that somebody to be us.
Otherwise, they might think that we're standoffish,
or worse, that we have a problem with their religion,
which is the last thing I want Matt's future in-laws to think.
- That's why you're doing all this? - That's why I'm destroying our kitchen
cooking food I have no idea how to cook.
All I had to do was invite them first,
and I would have home-food advantage.
[BOOK CLOSES]
Somehow, I've gotta get out of this dinner tonight.
- Stay home with Robbie. - You think I could?
Oh, man. I knew it.
It's just that when two people break up, sometimes it's not totally clean.
Sometimes there's unfinished business.
And this would be a good time for Robbie and me to clean it up.
That's not all there is to it.
You need to have a reason to stay home with Robbie.
A reason you can say out loud to Mom and Dad.
Well, help me. What are kids doing these days to get out of school?
Has anyone come up with new stuff? Ways to fake fevers?
Trick thermometers? Reddening-throat techniques?
- Anything new out there? - Nope. Same old stuff.
Although, Talia Stepka ate a caterpillar last week to get out of P.E.,
but she didn't throw up until two periods later in Computer Lab.
So the timing still has to be worked out.
Watch this.
[SIGHS] Oh...
- Well? - "Well," what?
That was a faint.
I think I'll try that. Nobody argues with a fainter.
I think it needs work.
- You looked sleepy, not fainty. - Okay.
[GROANS]
- Better? - I'm not sure.
Maybe if I crack my head against the wall.
Are you sure you haven't already done that?
Mm.
Let me think about that. No.
I mean, the last thing we need tonight is one of your goofy friends.
It's kind of a delicate situation, Simon.
- I'm not sure if it's the best time. - Sure, I understand.
I just thought, you know, with Morris being half Jewish and everything,
it might actually be of some help. You know, he's a good student.
He's honest, responsible.
Kind of an example that mixed marriages actually work,
but don't worry about it.
Wait. That's not the worst idea I ever heard.
And it's better than telling them that a lack of frustration
will allow us to focus on our studies.
And my folks wouldn't mind.
Besides, my father loves a big audience.
If he could fit a crowd into the bathroom to watch him shave,
he would.
Okay. Good idea, Simon.
We could use all the help we could get. Thanks.
You're welcome.
Now, if the twins won't eat, you can switch their foods.
Sometimes that works.
And you have our phone number in case anything comes up.
Don't worry, everything will be fine. Have a good time.
SAM: I wanna go there.
DAVID: I want a balloon.
Oh.
Is it hot in here? I'm feeling a little weird.
- The cake. I forgot the honey cake. - I got the honey cake.
- No, that's the kugel. - No, I have the honey cake.
- Oh, okay. - Oh, and Morris is meeting us there.
Because...?
Well, because Matt and Sarah invited him.
- He's half Jewish. - Where's Mary? Mary?
[FOOTSTEPS]
Oh, I feel so strange.
[MARY COUGHS]
What's wrong? Why aren't you ready?
I'm sorry. I just laid down for a nap,
and now my head hurts, and my stomach's queasy.
I don't know what hit me. I'm sorry. I'll just be a few minutes, Mom.
- Did you talk to her? RUTHIE: I didn't talk to her.
- Probably saw you rehearsing. - Rehearsing?
You don't feel warm. You're coming down with something.
- You better go back to bed. - What about dinner?
She can't stay here. Robbie is staying here.
Oh
Robbie can take care of you if you need anything.
Yeah, I guess. Okay. Well, have a good time.
Everyone.
Okay. I don't know what's going on, although I could guess.
But the kugel's getting cold,
and you know how I hate cold kugel. So shall we?
Uh...
See? Sometimes simple is better.
[SINGING IN HEBREW]
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God, king of the universe,
who has sanctified us by thy commandments,
and commanded us to kindle the Sabbath lights.
Okay.
Now, as we're getting closer to the moment of truth--
Which I like to call dinner.
--I would like to do the Kiddush, which is the blessing over the wine,
which symbolises life and joy.
And for those of you who have fruit juice in front of you,
it symbolises that you're just not old enough to drink.
[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God, king of the universe,
creator of the fruit of the vine.
And now we all can take a little sip, please.
[MATT CLEARS THROAT]
Very nice sipping, by the way.
You guys have sipped before, I can tell.
Now we do the Motzi.
[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]
Blessed art thou, O Lord, our God, king of the universe,
who bringest forth bread from the earth.
Mm! Now, Annie, just take a little piece of this challah and pass it down.
Everybody do the same thing, and then take a bite.
Because now the moment has come that you've been waiting for,
the moment when I can tell you how my grandfather came to this country.
- Dad. - No, no. Honey, I swear,
I've gotten this down to a tight 90 minutes.
Grandpa Max is born in a little village in Kiev.
One day, he decides to walk across Europe.
What a meshuggener. Can you imagine?
He's a little guy. He had tiny little steps.
It took him like six months just to get to, like, you know, Poland, you know?
He does this every time we have company.
All right, I'm kidding. Grandpa was born on Coney Island.
[ALL LAUGH]
Shabbat shalom, everybody. Let's eat.
Nibble on the challah, everyone. I'll be right back with the soup.
Oh, I'll help you, Rosina.
Oh, no, you're a guest. Sarah will help me.
- No, really, I'd like-- - No, just sit.
Please.
- It's okay, Annie. We got it covered. - Okay.
Maybe I should faint right here.
[WHISPERING] That'll just get you an ambulance ride
and a CAT scan.
Rabbi, I wanna thank you and Mrs. Glass for inviting me.
I know this was a family thing.
And it's nice of everyone to have me along.
It's our pleasure, Morris.
You know, Simon tells me that Morris here--
A terrific kid, good student. --is actually half Jewish.
His mother's Jewish, and his father's Protestant.
A good combination.
Wow, really? Does your family do Shabbat dinner?
Not really.
I used to do it when I was a kid at my grandfather's house.
But we did things a little differently, like with candles.
Yeah, he lit maybe a dozen or so.
You know, Morris, I think you're thinking about Hanukkah,
the festival of lights,
where they add an additional candle each night for eight nights.
You know, don't beat yourself up over it.
You were close. It's the same religion, right?
Well, it was a while ago.
[CHUCKLES]
Anyways, ha-ha-ha, it's nice to be here at your Seder.
Another swing and a miss.
You know, I think you're referring to Passover, Morris.
The Passover Seder.
[MATT KICKS SIMON, SIMON GROANS]
I mean, the Passover Seder, that's interesting.
Well, what about the one where you put on the costumes and the masks?
That's Halloween.
No, it's Purim.
Kids dress up for Purim, just like Halloween.
I gotta tell you something, Judaism is really very confusing,
even for Jews, really. I mean, every family does Shabbat differently.
And, for openers, we have Orthodox, Conservative and Reform,
which my congregation, you know, leans toward.
This house is Reform.
And most Reform houses don't keep kosher,
but because my darling wife was raised that way, we observe it.
And by the way, if any of you have any questions,
I would be happy to answer any of them.
And, Morris, you can relax. I'll take the first few.
RUTHIE: I have one.
Why did Mrs. Glass cover her eyes when she was lighting the candles?
Isn't that a good question?
Well, there's actually a few reasons,
but one is that it helps her focus her devotion.
You didn't cover your eyes when you said a blessing.
I'm a professional.
[CHUCKLING]
- Any other questions? RUTHIE: Yes.
What is it with this circumcision thing?
[COUGHING]
- Ruthie. - No, Annie, it's okay.
No, it's always a good time for knowledge.
By the way, you should know that circumcision isn't only done by Jews.
But for Jews, it's called a bris, and it came from a covenant,
a promise that Abraham made with God
to show that he and his descendants
would continue to honour him through Judaism.
I just wonder what made him think of that. Circumcision.
[CHUCKLES]
[LIGHT CHUCKLING, THROAT CLEARING]
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: Carter shoots from the top.
Oh, saved by Williams. He kicks it out.
They're working the puck. Going in front of the net.
Grabs the net. And they're behind the net now.
And Nelson and Parker, they're fighting for it.
- Hey. - Hey.
Wow.
- I guess you're feeling better. - Much.
Yeah, I think it was just one of those 24-minute bugs.
[CHUCKLES]
- What are you doing? - Just watching some hockey.
Twins are asleep.
I can't tell if they were tired, or they just got bored of me.
--looking for someone in front of the net.
Mind if I watch the game with you?
Across the ice down low.
- Um... Maybe you shouldn't. - Why do you look so worried?
It's not like there's anything going on between us.
MAN: What a beauty. ANNOUNCER: Yeah, taking it up ice.
- Look, if you'd rather be alone, then... - No, no, no, it's okay. Have a seat.
Great.
[ANNOUNCER TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
ANNOUNCER: Score is still tied, one a piece.
Mm. This food is wonderful.
How do you get your pot roast so tender and moist?
It's brisket. But thank you.
I don't even think I have room,
but I'm gonna try a little bit of Annie's kugel.
Well, you don't have to. It's probably way too salty.
Maybe you shouldn't, Richard. Your blood pressure.
I have never met a kugel that I didn't like, and you know that.
Look, I'm just gonna have a little piece. What, it's gonna kill me?
Mm.
Whoa. Whoa.
Oh.
SARAH: Dad. - This is fantastic.
I give this five menorahs. I'm not kidd-- This is unbel--
Hey, will you--? Do you mind?
Can I have some fun every now and then?
She knows all of my routines.
It's gonna be so great having Matt in the family.
You know, I can bring back all my old material.
Well, I'm looking forward to it.
That's what you think. Don't get him started,
or he might try for open-mike night at the Wailing Wall.
[LAUGHS]
It isn't fair.
She's home with Robbie, and I'm here getting fat.
I can't take it.
Excuse me, Rabbi Glass.
Could I use your telephone? It's kind of important.
Is everything okay, Lucy?
Everything's fine. It's just an important personal thing.
Rabbi Glass, isn't it forbidden to use the telephone on Shabbat?
I'm trying to get a handle on everything.
That's a good question. You know, most Orthodox Jews,
they try to avoid aspects of the outside world
because, from their perspective,
they think it sort of intrudes on the Sabbath.
You know, they stay away from, like, phones and TVs and cars
and handling of money, that sort of thing.
But many modern Jews, like myself,
we have more of an easygoing attitude.
So the answer to the question is, hey, yeah.
Yeah, you can use the phone, Lucy. And take it in my study.
Thank you.
[DOOR CLOSES]
What's wrong, honey?
Nothing.
It's wonderful.
- Mm. Best kugel I ever had. Ha-ha. - You've had kugel?
Uh-- No.
- You are so-- - I know.
I know.
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: Lot of action in front of the net.
Now, nothing's happened yet. They've worked the puck down low.
[PHONE RINGS]
[SIGHS]
Hello?
No, thanks. We already have home delivery of a newspaper.
Don't give me that.
I'm just calling to let you know
that I know exactly what you did and why.
No, really, we're very happy with our newspaper.
It has exactly the kind of news we like to read.
I'm gonna go check on the twins.
LUCY: For you to fake a sickness
just so you could stay home with Robbie is totally despicable.
I bet you're in there right now
getting him to put a cold rag on your fake hot head.
Oh, please. We're just sitting around.
- I bet. - Okay, you caught us.
We're talking, listening to some music. Sometimes we get up and dance.
Slow, real slow.
- But nothing's going on. - You lie, I know it.
I hope the twins wake up
and bear witness to whatever evil it is you're doing on the Sabbath.
- It's not the Sabbath. - The Jewish Sabbath.
Don't you know anything?
[PHONE BEEPS]
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
Hey, look who's up and wants to hang out with us.
[ROBBIE CHUCKLES]
SAM: Puppy.
DAVID: That's my puppy.
Freaky.
I'm only half Jewish, but I still follow many of the precepts of Judaism.
For example, at a ball game, I always order the kosher hot dog.
[MORRIS CHUCKLES]
Okay, it's usually more expensive,
but what's a quarter to help support your religion, huh?
Thank you, Rabbi Glass, for letting me use your study.
Um... Do you think I can use your phone too, Rabbi?
Actually, Morris and I, we need to change some plans.
- Yeah, go right ahead. SIMON: Thank you.
[EXHALES]
Rosina, how tall are you these days?
Hey, were you so desperate to get a free meal
that you had to lie about being part Jewish?
- I am part Jewish. - I'm more Jewish, and I'm not Jewish.
You're gonna get us both killed
if you don't stop talking about things you know nothing about.
- Well, maybe I used to know more. - Oh, great.
Good, because you're supposed to be a good example of mixed marriages.
After tonight, they might ban marriages of all kinds.
Well, I didn't know I was here as some kind of exhibit.
Well, of course, we'll both finish medical school.
We think it'll be easier because...
Because nothing.
Well, because we have each other, we can focus on our studies.
Yeah, that's logical.
ERIC: A marriage brings certain pressures.
It requires energy and work.
Marriage can be very hard to balance when pursuing an education
or a career, especially in the first couple years.
The first couple years of marriage can be completely distracting.
- Don't you agree, Richard? - It's still distracting. I don't know.
Last week, when my darling wore Manolo Blahniks, whoa,
my yarmulke kept popping off my head every five minutes.
Spike heels. On "The O List," Oprah's magazine.
I'm a voracious reader. I keep up with this style stuff.
Dad, I think you're not considering some of the positives
of our getting married and going to school.
Okay, maybe I haven't.
Everyone knows how insanely hard medical school is.
But we have our own built-in support system 24/7.
If one of us has a problem, the other one's right there to help.
- Right there. - That's a good point.
You know, Matt, maybe you should've married my daughter in high school.
Particularly during freshman algebra. Remember it? It gave you such fits,
you started breaking out with those isosceles triangles on your face.
You know, Richard, I admire your ability
to handle this momentous event in our lives so well.
I guess I'm still coming to terms with it.
Well, to be really honest, you know, when our daughter told us
that she was gonna marry Matt, Rosina and I were really thrown.
And believe me, my wife is not easily thrown.
I mean, she's more like, you know, Mary Sunshine.
You know, like the eternal optimist.
All we could see were the pitfalls lying ahead of these two kids, you know.
Until, you know, the idea of converting was put on the table,
and then everything made, you know, much more sense.
I mean... And then we felt, you know, a lot better.
I mean, I felt a lot better.
[SIGHS]
I didn't realise.
I didn't know Sarah is considering converting.
Um...
Not exactly Sarah, Dad.
[UTENSIL CLINKS]
We're just exploring the idea.
- I'm exploring. - Exploring?
You know, considering it, discussing it.
Discussing it? With whom? Not with us.
I was gonna talk to you and Dad about it.
I was just looking for the right time.
Do you think that this, here, now,
is the right time for your father and me to...?
Eric, are you okay?
- Eric? - What? Oh.
- Yeah, I'm fine. - You don't look fine.
No, really, I'm fine.
Rosina, this dish is sensational. What do you call it?
Peas.
[WHISPERS] Pea...
So does this mean that you're gonna have to get circumcised?
[STAMMERS] Ruthie, I--
My...
You know, it's none of your business.
- Could I use the phone again, Rabbi? - Please do.
And I pray you use the speakerphone,
because I think we all can use a little distraction.
Maybe I can make the call for you.
[CHUCKLES]
Evidently not. Anyone here need a phone?
You know, we have two lines here at the house.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Restroom? Closet?
You know, by the way, we happen to have two emergency exits.
You know, in case you have the need to flee.
I, of course, can't flee. Heh.
I live here. Welcome.
[INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES]
ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: Guess it's time to drop the gloves.
Now they're not gonna go at it.
Okay, I really didn't wanna watch TV. I wanna talk.
About?
Us.
Us?
Yes, us.
I still feel like we have some unfinished business.
There isn't an us.
There's a me, and there's a you, but no us. Nothing unfinished.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
If you continue to take advantage of this unfair situation,
you could do permanent harm to our relationship.
Think before you respond.
Ma'am, if you continue to hound us
with these high-pressure soliciting tactics,
I'm gonna have to call your boss, the solicitor general.
You could lose your job.
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
Dad, nothing officially has been decided yet.
There's still a long way to go.
Rosina and I both, you know, assumed that you knew that,
you know, this was under consideration.
But we certainly didn't intend to, like, surprise you, Eric.
Eric?
He seems to be in a trance over his salad bowl.
What are--? What is this?
Excuse me, everyone.
Something has come up, and I have to go.
I'm really very sorry. Matt, do you think I could use your car,
and maybe you could go home with Mom and Dad?
- Uh... - Morris could drop us off.
Oh, that's fine. Listen, Lucy, Simon, we've really enjoyed meeting you.
Good night.
And Morris.
Well, okay. Alrighty.
All right, enough, okay?
Enough tiptoeing around a very serious subject.
A big mistake is being made by two young people here,
and no one wants to talk about it.
- I told you, we're gonna complete-- ERIC: I know.
You told me all about the buddy-system approach to school.
There's a bigger problem here.
It's the problem of a person who thinks that they can change who they are.
As if changing religions is as simple as changing shirts.
- Dad, I know it's not-- - Long sleeves, short sleeves.
Plaid or striped. It's only a shirt.
You don't need to discuss a shirt with those close to you.
Tomorrow, you'll just wear another one.
I was gonna discuss it with you. I was just looking for the right time.
And when would that be? At the bris of your firstborn?
Honey, I think we should discuss this at home.
I apologise if I'm making anyone uncomfortable,
but I guess I'm struggling with this one basic question.
I don't know, maybe you can clarify it.
God, for 21 years, you had this one abiding concept in your life:
Jesus.
And now you take one bite of kugel, and suddenly, no Jesus?
It's not even Jewish kugel. It's good old-fashioned Wasp kugel.
RICHARD: I have a suggestion.
Why don't we just take a collective breath
and maybe move into the living room
and have a little cake and coffee, relax?
And then I'm gonna invite everyone
to take a nice little walk around the block to my temple
for the Oneg Shabbat,
which is a very casual, very short service,
after which you will then be served some more cake and coffee.
Of course, it's not mandatory for you, but as the rabbi,
I'm expected.
It's a good idea. Let's all go into the living room.
You're not being reasonable.
I've never seen you like this, Dad.
- You're not being yourself. - Oh?
I think I am myself.
I think you're the one who's trying to be someone he's not.
Matt, you're my son.
I know who you are and who you're not.
And one thing you're not is a Jew.
[STAMMERS] Wait a second. I--
Um-- I didn't mean it to sound like that.
I just meant that some people are Jewish and some aren't.
And you're obviously not a Jew. Why does that sound so bad?
[LOUDLY] You're not Jewish,
and that's all there is to it.
Annie, you know, that kugel was so good.
How did you make it come out so smooth?
Oh, why, thank you, Rosina. I followed Mrs. Kaplan's cookbook.
But I didn't have any chicken fat, so I used a few ounces of cream.
Oh.
[SIGHS]
Is something wrong?
It's just that Jewish dietary rules
forbid the mixing of meat and dairy at the same meal.
So technically, the meal wasn't kosher.
You didn't know. It's not the end of the world.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
[SOBS]
Are they sleeping?
[CHUCKLES]
Out cold.
I wanted to finish what we were talking about before.
I don't think I made myself clear.
- Don't worry. - Robbie.
I must be having these feelings about you for some reason.
Shh. Keep your voice down.
[SOFTLY] Exactly.
Voices, words, that's the problem.
I say something that just pops into my head.
You say something.
I mean, it's just talk. That means nothing.
So maybe we could try another approach
to see how we really feel about each other.
- Mary. - It's okay.
This method is way more accurate. Practically scientific.
And it's a lot quieter.
- Hey, guys. - Lucy.
- What are you doing here? - I live here, remember?
- Is everyone home already? - No.
- Morris dropped off Simon and me. - How was it?
You missed an incredible dinner. Sarah's parents are great.
The rabbi's funny, Matt's going to be Jewish, Dad stopped breathing,
and the food was great. So, what's happening here?
Nothing. Just checking on the twins, watching the hockey game.
What, no slow dancing?
I saw a bit of the game when I walked in.
It's going into overtime.
Why don't we go downstairs and watch?
Robbie and me. Not you. You look terrible.
Well, I feel fine.
And I was watching the game with Robbie.
So if anyone's gonna be watching overtime--
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Yeah, I'll get it. Heh-heh.
Oh, you are so immature.
I'm immature? Look at the way you're behaving.
You had him cornered like you were some hairy predator
on the Discovery Channel.
Ugh. Unbelievable. You bounce in here--
Bounce? You wanna talk about bouncing?
- You're the one on the rebound. - We're both on the rebound.
JOY: Hi. ROBBIE: Jeez.
[DOOR CLOSES]
LUCY: Who's here? - I don't know.
The recording session was supposed to go till midnight,
but we got lucky and got everything in the first two takes.
- So I thought I'd surprise you. - You're one of life's best surprises.
Oh, great, the game's still on.
- Yeah, it just went into overtime. - Oh, terrific. I love overtime.
It's so tense.
[SIGHS]
To tell you the truth,
this whole night has been kind of tense.
I could use some relaxation.
- Is that relaxing? - Oh, yeah.
Well, that's that.
Yep.
Do you wanna stay down here and spy or just go to our room and stew?
Stew.
[WHISPERS] Yeah.
- I'm so sorry for the kugel, Rosina. ROSINA: Oh, it's not your fault.
It is my fault. It was my fault for going so far overboard
just to make a good impression.
I always tell our children to always be themselves.
And then here I am trying to be Mrs. Kaplan
instead of Mrs. Camden, and ruining your dinner in the process.
You didn't ruin anything, and it's not the end of the world.
To tell the truth, I wasn't myself either.
Believe it or not, I'm usually a much friendlier person.
I'm the eternal optimist. It's my job to not worry.
To balance out Richard and Sarah worrying about everything.
But tonight, something happened.
- I happened. - No, you had nothing to do with it.
It happened when I saw Sarah and Matt tonight.
This little girl who used to come to Shabbat dinner as my daughter
was there about to be someone's wife, and it felt like I was losing her.
My only daughter.
Maybe that sounds strange to someone who has such a big family.
You've got six more when Matt leaves. Plus, you got that other one.
It doesn't matter how many kids you have.
When they leave, a piece of you goes too.
When my oldest daughter, Mary, moved out, I was devastated.
- I thought I'd never be the same. - I'm sorry.
Well, she's moved back home, and I'm still not the same,
but that's a whole other story.
I'll save it for the next dinner that I ruin, at our house.
I'll ruin that one, okay?
- Just to make you feel better. - Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
Annie, I'm glad you went overboard.
It makes me feel so good to know that my daughter's marrying someone
who has a mother who cares enough to go overboard.
ERIC: I haven't lost my balance like that in a long time.
I'm sorry, Richard.
Hey, don't apologise. You were blindsided.
You know, you stepped off a kerb, you got hit by a furniture truck.
- It's amazing you're still walking. - I feel like such a hypocrite.
I've always told my children, as they get older,
they're gonna have to make their own choices in life and live with them.
So Matt made a choice, and then I lost it.
Hey, you know, he's still considering his choices.
Let's not forget that.
I understand. But, yeah, the point is
I have to do more than pay lip service to these things I teach my children.
I mean, talk about not practising what you preach.
Hey, Eric, you know, between you and me,
don't think that I'm any pillar of stability myself.
You know, I had my dark moments
when I found out that Sarah was marrying Matt.
But at least I had the chance to lose it in the, you know,
privacy of my own home, you know?
These used to be round.
[BALLS CLATTERING]
You know, they bounce a lot better when they're round.
- That's a lot of flat balls. - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah. - About three dozen. Yeah.
Look at this baby.
You know that I won the YMHA over-40 singles championship
with this baby?
This used to be my favourite racquet.
Yep, I can lose it with the best of them.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Come in.
[SIGHS]
- Look, I need to talk. - Of course.
- Hey, listen, guys, let me just-- - No, that's okay, Rabbi.
I wanna get a few things out in the open,
and the more open, the better.
Dad, I was sitting out there
feeling rotten for everything that happened tonight.
- Matt, you don't have-- - Dad, let me finish.
The truth is I only have one thing to feel rotten about,
and that's not coming to you first and discussing the possibility
of me converting to Judaism.
But it's still open for discussion, even though...
You know, Dad, I am madly in love with a woman
who shares my hopes and dreams for a good life.
Not just for the two of us, but for everyone.
And we each got that same dream from our two very different families
and from our two very different religions.
Yet our families and religions are not so different,
because we all share the same moral principles.
We all wanna love and be loved. We're all part of the same life.
And if you can believe that, then you know it'll all be okay.
Everything will be fine.
Is this where we say amen?
[SIGHS]
I know that my favourite congregation is getting a little hungry,
but I also know that most of you know
that the words "Oneg Shabbat" means Sabbath delight,
and that many of us associate that with the spirit of the Sabbath.
Some associate it
with Mrs. Zimmerman's oatmeal-raisin cookies.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
And some with Mrs. Zimmerman.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
But tonight, there's another delight.
For me, it's a personal one and for my family.
It's the delight I had opening my home to the Camdens.
I would like to welcome my beautiful daughter's fiancé, Matt,
and a small portion of his wonderful family to our service.
Eric, you sure you don't want to say a few words?
- Well? - Really? That's--?
You know, I've never known of a minister, or certainly a rabbi,
who didn't take the opportunity to talk.
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Oh, really? How nice.
Oh.
- It's an honour. - Thank you, Rabbi.
I would like to say just a few words.
I'd like you to know how welcome you made us feel in your home tonight.
And now here in the temple.
As my son pointed out to me,
even though there are many differences between our religions,
there are also things that unite us, that are universal,
and transcend churches and temples and faiths of all kind.
And the one transcendent thing that jumps to my mind right now
is love.
Love for family.
Love for friends.
And...
And the love that two young people feel
who know that, together, they can overcome any obstacles
that life puts in their way.
And so to you, Rabbi,
and Rosina,
and to all of you, let me just say thank you.
And Shabbat shalom.
CROWD: Shabbat shalom.
[CROWD CHATTERING]
Thank you.
Well, that was quite eloquent.
And on that fitting note, our service is concluded.
So now we can make our way, in an orderly fashion, please,
back to the refreshment area.
So, Mrs. Zimmerman, get ready, because we're ready for you.
And to quote the reverend, Shabbat shalom.
CROWD: Shabbat shalom.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]